Sponge bath it is.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
