Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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