Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
