Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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