dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize