Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
