Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize