Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
