I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
