I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
