I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
