Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
