i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize