I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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