I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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