Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
