I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize