i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
