K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
