suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
