bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
