Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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