All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
