It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
