i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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