ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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