woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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