i can't believe i had my finger in that
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
