OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
