i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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