I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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