I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
