Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize