Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
