Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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