Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
