I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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