At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
