i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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