I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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