i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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