2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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