we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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