this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize