His apartment number was 69. I had to.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i think i just lost a toe
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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