NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
did i just pee glitter
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