We won't sleep together?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I believe in your delicious
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
