It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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