theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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