Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
