Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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