I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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