can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
How's work?
Spinning.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
