We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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