Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
