He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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