Pappa wants mamma naked
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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