there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
