found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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