real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
