Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
