so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Drunk is not a location!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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